23. I am tired

Its just getting bewildering by the day. The amount of work versus the time available gets lesser and lesser. It becomes humanly insane to handle the quantum with the tantrums day in and out.

The constant urge to walk into the wild lingers every other moment.

Why do we work? Is it that we have to sustain ourselves and our beloved ones? Yes I believe that is the primary objective which gets blended with the lust of having more and more. They say you die the moment you stop desiring. I believe that's in a nutshell the biggest lie. You start living when you stop desiring. Instead of fooling around for things material or immaterial, the focus shifts on doing what you are. Call me a nomadic saint or a numbed addict, it doesn't really change the stupor.

The lack of patience and the angst in the write can be purely attributed to the lifestyle I have been accustomed to. Its a calm state and thought that is required to execute to perfection. Apart from 'calm' and its buddies, every other word falls in place. There is just hush hush hush.

What pisses me off is that everyone is inherently an escapist. Nobody really wants to do anything. Its like one wants  to sit and get paid. Or rather sit, gossip and get paid. There is like a constant urge to shove things away from oneself. To add to that is a sense of insecurity and a lack of ownership. Believe me, given a work to do and provided it messes up, everyone is really upto playing the blame game. What is really sad is that what makes an ethical world i.e. ethics stay no more. Its rather stupid to expect to be ethical and have a pleasant state of affairs. One would rather be pulled into the hurricane of corruption and bureaucracy instead, by doing so.

If you have read so far, I believe you do understand that I am referring to a general state of affairs of present day jobs; which just irritates me.

Given that, I need to chill out and so will play an FPS and kill some buggers and then later tomorrow work in peace.

So long.